Clients do not want to lose those they love, to isolate from the world, to have anxiety and confusion, to experience deep depression or to completely lose trust in themselves and others. Nevertheless, that is often their reality when they enter treatment. With counseling support, clients develop the power to turn things around for themselves. They understand that thoughts, feelings, behaviors, goals and self-caring are areas they need to work on in sessions and outside of sessions. They work toward the positive adjustments needed and that takes time.

Do you constantly worry about any undue, prolonged anxiety, depression or have mood swings or employment issues, loneliness,difficulties in relationships or life events such as marriage, divorce, death, parenthood, blended family issues, retirement. What about chronic physical illness caused by tension and stress or problems following traumatic events such as accidents, childhood abuse, etc.

Are there problems with domestic violence or other forms of  abuse

Are you affected by stress in the face of chronic or terminal illness or other health problems

Do you have constant worries or obsessions,excessive anger,frustration,or guilt with no resolution. What about self-destructive thoughts and behavior problems with drugs or alcohol .

It is important to understand that the counseling required to assist a client with these issues takes time and on-going support. Motivation is a key ingredient to moving forward in counseling.

However, motivation and resistance are ever changing states of readiness. To lower the client's resistance positive action is required from the client. Even with these positive actions change is difficult and the client may feel stuck. Nevertheless, action and change help predict new behaviors. New behaviors encourage clients to move forward and to reach their goals. But there is a big difference between thinking about change and taking action to make those changes. The client is taught how to develop healthy habits of self-advocacy. CFTI clients develop the necessary skills to address this. They will focus on verbalizing optimism and demonstrate commitment.

This work is essential to personal growth and counseling can encourage individuals to face the adversity and barriers they encounter as they move forward in their recovery program. It is a move forward to self-actualization. Clients are offered the opportunity to talk about and understand their fluctuating emotions. The client can then act on what needs to be changed.Client's lives are improved by taking one step at a time. Clients begin to believe, I am worth the effort to get better.

Change means having  goals and knowing how to reach those goals.

Understand how individuals set goals. Someone else can not set your goals for you. Successful goals need to reflect your new way of thinking.  New behaviors will follow.

One of the most successful ways to develop goals is to make them BEHAVIORAL. This identifies them clearly and gives you a specific place to start.

Break the goals down to be as specific as possible. Here is a goal I was proud to achieve in 2016.

Goals are most helpful when set in a positive direction.  Not just the removal of something negative.  Behaviors should be seen and structured as something positive.

Strive towards a counter conditioning approach.   Set a positive goal that is incompatible with a negative behavior or the problem itself.

Identify and talk about a successful experience you have had due to developing a clear goal.  Then build more ideas on that.

Go SLOW!  Take the ‘first step, Then take the ‘second step,Then take a ‘third step, Short-range goals are good beginnings. Intermediate goals will follow and that will lead into long range goals.  

"First Things First”. Take the most urgent problem first. Look at your situation.

Assess your situation and begin to develop steps to rectify your problem. Understand how your thinking needs to change..

Be alert!  Avoid situations that could be potential problems..  Identify problems early.

Build in a feedback mechanism.  (Whom do you trust to share your ideas with?)

Change thinking – develop goals.  Change behaviors – reach those goals.

How do you know when to stop? How do you know that you have a problem and how do you know when to seek help? As I have previously mentioned, if you have noticed yourself spending excessive time thinking about the substance, spending more money on it than usual, or are hiding your behavior from your loved ones, this is indicative of a problem.

Furthermore, if the reasons for which you are using these substances are not common or socially acceptable, then perhaps you need to ask yourself why you’re engaging in these behaviors. When addictions begin to interfere with your life, such as your job, your relationships with other people, and your family life, then you definitely have a problem.